Maya Shankars Plus One is Christy Warren, a former first responder with 25 years of experience in the field. I dont know. I mean, its a little bit like, Just keep saying yes. You know, When in doubt, say Sure, Ill do that, just to see what happens next, just to see who you might meet. After a College Applicant Hits 'Send' - The New York Times After the potency of the crime metaphor wore off, I turned to the vocabulary of religion. Kelly, this is such a good reminder that sometimes we inherit tough histories and mottos. I was in a big, big rush to get in front of him, and say my apology, and be returned to a state of grace, but the fact is that his mom died. Kelly Corrigan:They hate it. Ive read Tell Me More twice already. Kelly Corrigan:And so I didnt do it. I mean, people are getting colon cancer at your age all the time. The Best Show is the best live podcast you're ever gonna hear! You know, like it wasnt me. PBS is a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization. I dont have the genetic predisposition. Claire, You wrote this book in a season of incredible loss. Kelly Corrigan:Sure, my pleasure. I was wrong, and that is very soothing, but then that took me back to this moment where I had gone to work for United Way after college, because I was going to save the world, and I was this total do-gooder. They thrill, and confound, and circle, and overflow, and disappear, because its like this, having a life.. I mean so far, knock on wood, Im getting to see my kids be much, much older than she got to see her kids be. So, I think things happen when you leave the house. Kelly Corrigan. So, I just really went bananas, because on top of the shirt problem, I went downstairs to clean the kitchen, and I found everybodys bowls, and spoons, and cups, and I had that reaction that so many women have, which is, Well I guess Im the least busy. Shes not going to hold their babies.. Wondering if youve come across Bahai writings as I find them inspiring in building a circle of friends, a community and help each other grow together. I mean, maybe I was projecting, maybe whatever he said in that moment, maybe if he had said peanut butter, and jelly, wed be talking about peanut butter and jelly, but it totally resonated for me in the way that a song lyric does where youre like, I dont know what that means exactly, but Im going to write that down, and put it in my wallet, and its interesting. Thats the word. What do we do when the labels we're given aren't necessarily the ones we choose for ourselves? Okay, great. CW: death of parent, death of friend to cancer. Thanks so much for your refreshing, poignant, thought-provoking podcast. I mean, people are getting colon cancer at your age all the time. May you find Christ, comfort, and companions amidst the questions! How does change actually happen? Onward, my dears. Tell Me More with Kelly Corrigan is a series that inspires, educates and entertains. I thoroughly enjoyed your podcast and listening to you both. So, its funny that that phrase really begat the whole book in a way, because I had been feeling this shame about not really earning my days here, and then Ed and I were at dinner, and we were talking about the difference between saying Im sorry, and saying I was wrong, and I was saying, God, its so much more powerful though in the humility in saying I was wrong.. Corrigan, a New York Times bestselling author, gives her Brief But Spectacular take on the power of words. I think thats cause we were always sort of fighting nearby. Kelly Corrigan:So, I get it, but I spend a lot of time with them, and Im madly in love with them, really, really have this deep, incredible connection with them that I just value so much, and they are in her, and you know, theyre everything that was so important to her. Thats like total vanity but, especially with the kids, I definitely think, Edward and I both think, If you let us run this out for you, well get it done like one, two, three, and thats so humiliating, and degrading, and just the opposite of self-esteem building, which is sort of like the ground we walk on as adults. Id say that there is definitely such a thing as a questioning Christian. Kelly Corrigan:The magic of Tell me more is you start telling me what youre upset about, and I fall for the first thing you say, and I start solving for that. Sometimes, were just lacking a bit of language. If you love the episode, please share and review. Kelly Corrigan:Like, almost every time Im sure that if you just let me take over, I can make this problem go away. Weeks later, the missing hamster crawled out from under the stove. Kelly shares a graduation speech, a conversation about takeaways from high school with her daughter and a special reading with Oscar winning actress Helen Hunt. I didnt make her final days one bit better, and I lived there for two years. Kate Bowler:Getting back to life has been really tricky. You dont have to bring it all. Minds dont rest. Thanks very much for all you do. Kelly Corrigan:I mean, unless youre a monk, and youre meditating for 60 days in a mountain somewhere. Kelly reads everything from eulogies to retirement speeches and on February 19th, she . Mahra:Ive been singing these lines from a song by the Avett Brothers to my kids for years, and it goes like this. So, I kind of wondered if there was a motto youd pick for you for right now, what would it be? Were just a series of days and interactions. The ambiguity is quite isolating. Ten days before I was scheduled to defend my dissertation, English Policies, Curricular Reform and Teacher Development in Multilingual, Post-colonial Djibouti, I got the call. But first, we need you to sign in to PBS using one of the services below. Kelly Corrigan:I sat at my dining room table, which is place I never write, and I thought, Oh my God, of course I know exactly what this is. Many of you listen to Kelly Corrigan who WFS brought to Charlotte in October 2021. Kelly Corrigan:Now maybe Im going to go to Durham, and now maybe Im going to get my PhD in Divinity. Weekly dose of wonder: The glorious sounds of chickens : NPR I need to hear what your motto is. Kelly Corrigan:Youre feeling like ABC, not DEF. So thats the beauty of it. Kelly Corrigan:Like, Oh, well we still have sex, so were definitely not going to get a divorce, or you know, Oh my husband doesnt travel, so then were definitely not gonna get a divorce, or you know, I never smoked cigarettes, so Im definitely not going to get breast cancer. Yeah. Then I wanted to get right with him, and urgently. Dont misread this, my mother was a loving woman, but she passed on this legacy, this painful legacy shed been burdened with, that women should take up as little space as possible, risk as little as possible, and hide our lights lest we make fools of ourselves. You could do worse than to live by that one. And you know, it was so weird, but dying was the easier part of it. Kelly Corrigan:Dont get crumbs on the baby. Theres a title. Kelly Corrigan:So, my dad died in February, and then my friend Liz, whos the mother of three kids, 8, 10, and 12 at the time, died that December. I mean, maybe I was projecting, maybe whatever he said in that moment, maybe if he had said peanut butter, and jelly, wed be talking about peanut butter and jelly, but it totally resonated for me in the way that a song lyric does where youre like, I dont know what that means exactly, but Im going to write that down, and put it in my wallet, and its interesting. By creating an account, you acknowledge that PBS may share your information with our member stations and our respective service providers, and that you have read and understand the Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. I mean, its a little bit like, Just keep saying yes. You know, When in doubt, say Sure, Ill do that, just to see what happens next, just to see who you might meet. Your mantra is fantastic and is sounds like it has served you well through the years! Shed do anything. Kelly Corrigan:I mean, unless youre a monk, and youre meditating for 60 days in a mountain somewhere. Kate Bowler:I do think people offer certainties when they think that youre proof of something that scares them, and they cant just live in the uncertainty of not knowing for a minute. Kilpy Thanks For Being Here Mary Hope's Letter Introducing Alex. The things we tell ourselves and each other are so important, arent they? I dont have the genetic predisposition. Labels like chronic illness, or caregiver, or widow, or mom of a kid with special needs. As many of our listeners know, Kelly has a dear cousin, Kathy, who turns up, one way or another, in all of Kelly's books. Duration: 3:0 Transcript HARI SREENIVASAN: Now to another in our Brief But Spectacular. I think part of why your book is so moving is the way that these sayings crystallize these really big truths about who we are, and also how we should love each other. Despair defies description. Michael Lewis on What Makes Some People Irreplaceable. Kelly Corrigan:You dont always need such a plan, or an agenda, or whatever. Like the other day when I was being wheeled into a procedure, the nurse looked at my chart, and then casually said, Colon cancer. Kelly Corrigan:And it wasnt my turn for his attention. Its a very learned thing that I have to insert the words into my mouth, and push them out deliberately, because my instinct is to solve. Ill read you a little bit from the very end of that chapter because the thing that he was saying I think is, This is how it goes.. Im sorry I didnt go see your mom. Thats not the same as saying I was wrong not to try to know her. Kate Bowler:I dont think Ill like it, but I will think of you when I do it. I think we make life a little more interesting! Kelly Corrigan:Ah, it was so terrible. After the potency of the crime metaphor wore off, I turned to the vocabulary of religion. Kelly Corrigan:So, I used to go in there and write, and they have a meditation teacher twice a day at 10:00 AM and 3:00 PM, and at first I was sort of sheepish about availing myself of every single employee benefit, but sure enough, eventually I found myself sitting in there, and this guy was kind of amazing. Kelly Corrigan:My instinct is to fix, cause I feel Im almost sure I can. You cant live in that. She reflects on her love and loss through ordinary moments and everyday sayings. I was healthy, and then I was sick, and now Im feeling pretty good, and even though the language around immunotherapy isnt perfect, I can happily say that I am in remission. Society & Culture English We only book nice people who have a sense of humor and know things worth knowing. Welcome to Kelly Corrigan Wonders, a place for people who like to laugh while they think and find it useful to look closely at ourselves and our weird ways in the hopes that knowing more and feeling more will help us do more and be better. Just see who you can bump into out there. Kelly Corrigan:Dont get crumbs on the baby. Theres a title. Follow Kate on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. The idea that any day could be this huge day, I dont know, that really gets me out of bed, you know? We should hold hands for a moment, as a way of marking the glory of a family dinner, and they do that. A former newspaper columnist and four time bestselling . We can remove the first show in the list to add this one. Thats where its at. But the fact is if I said, Tell me more, go on, what else, youd say the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing, and it would be like the thing behind the thing, behind the thing is where really the pain is, and if I had waited way longer, I wouldve been able to say, Oh, I understand.. Kelly Corrigan:Theres a thing Im aware of about eye contact between spouses, and you either make it, or you dont, and once youre aware that thats deeply meaningful, and that it has this kind of almost immeasurable, physiological effect on the other person, then you make an effort to look them in the eye, and that seems like such a small thing, but its actually definitional in terms of your relationship, in terms of whether its a good day, or a bad day, or a good interaction, or a bad interaction. In, warm, insightful, often funny conversations, Kate talks with people about what they've. My son was, of course, distraught and felt the dog was a part of the family and worth the trouble. She has a beloved podcast called Everything Happens. I went into this tiny bathroom in Baltimore in our office building, and just cried my eyes out, and it wasnt even because she died. I said, No, I just want to go back to Vietnam and do what I was doing. Inspiring and thought-provoking interviews conducted by bestselling author Kelly Corrigan. I think thats cause we were always sort of fighting nearby. Theres meatless Mondays, and theres a kombucha bar, and theres nap pods. Its so that they can identify some critical difference between you and them that makes them feel like they can exhale again. Thank you for this. It was the very last thing that I wrote, and you may be able to relate to this, theres always one part of a book that writes itself, at least for me, where its like, I guess Ive been thinking about this long enough, I guess Ive been living this long enough that its all kind of been subconsciously forming, and now Im just about taking dictation here, and thats the way that was. 5:55. Kate Bowler:Oh friend. You might actually give somebody a chance to discover whats really bothering them, and in that discovery they might find their own solution, but the fact is that if you can bite your stupid tongue, and get over yourself, and just keep eliciting their whole story, then the next thing you know, their mood is changing, and theyre feeling more solution-oriented, and then they get the buzz of solving the problem. This forgetting, this slide into smallness, this irritability in shame, this disorienting grief Its like this. She's a daughter who still mourns the loss of her dad, a mom to her amazing daughters, a wife to her fantastic husband, a sister, a good friend, and a woman trying her best to leave this world a better and a brighter one for future generations. Ryland was a light in this world who struggled with anxiety, depression and addiction. Im Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. You can follow the conversation with Kelly on Instagram @kellycorrigan. I think people think that if you have a diagnosis, or somethings happened to you that you should know because youre proof of it. Kelly Corrigan:One that Ive always liked is, Things happen when you leave the house. I think I like the sense of theres something out there that you can tap into. So, Dont eat a hamster is our version of Dont jump to conclusions.. Michael highlights the importance of . Kelly Corrigan:One that Ive always liked is, Things happen when you leave the house. I think I like the sense of theres something out there that you can tap into. Constance shares her experiences as an actress in Hollywood both on and off screen: the privilege and responsibility of representation, being a true artist, navigating social media and an incident which took her to a very dark place.Special thanks to PBS for supporting Tell Me More and this podcast series. Welcome to Kelly Corrigan Wonders, a place for people who like to laugh while they think and find it useful to look closely at ourselves and our weird ways in the hopes that knowing more and feeling more will help us do more and be better. I found that instructive. Team Everything Happens. She's an author. It just ends the tension because what youre saying is, I see it how you see it, and I agree with you. I mean, Im totally coming to see you. Kate Bowler:Yeah. Kelly Corrigan:I sat at my dining room table, which is place I never write, and I thought, Oh my God, of course I know exactly what this is. Now, eleven years post-cancer, Im still learning to show up and be of use in my life, my marriage, my family and my work for the display of His splendor. Read more about this episode, and get show notes, here. Adjust the colors to reduce glare and give your eyes a break. You could do worse than to live by that one. Follow Kelly on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. Team Everything Happens. Kelly Corrigan:My friend Andy Lotts, who is Lizs husband, told me about it, cause hes a mom now, and so we talk mom talk. My mantra for the last decade plus has been show up and be of use. You can watch this episode of Tell Me More anytime at pbs.org/kelly.Thank you also to the Lafayette Library and Learning Center. A Way to Make Work More Meaningful (The Science of It just came out whole, and of course, to me its the most important and moving chapter in the book for sure. The Big Short, Moneyball, Liars Poker, these stories stand for whole industries because Michael Lewis puts just the right protagonist in the center. Kate Bowler:Todays episode is brought to you by our partners, North Carolina Public Radio WUNC, the Lilly Endowment, The Issachar Fund, The John Templeton Foundation, Faith and Leadership: An Online Learning Resource, and Duke Divinity School, and of course, Beverly Abel, Jessica Richie, and Be the Change Revolutions. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah, and theres forgiveness and acceptance kind of intertwined there that you know, youre going to forget. Shed do anything. Kelly Corrigan Wonders: Michael Murray on the Social Science of Faith Kelly Corrigan:So, I just really went bananas, because on top of the shirt problem, I went downstairs to clean the kitchen, and I found everybodys bowls, and spoons, and cups, and I had that reaction that so many women have, which is, Well I guess Im the least busy. Take care, My mom called me maybe three months after my dad died. You know, I honestly think I only say Im sorry, and not, I was wrong. I think I might try it. Embed. We read and appreciate every comment. Kelly Corrigan:And I should not lose my mind over a shirt I bought on final sale section that didnt fit even though I tried to pull it over myself, and then it got stuck on me, and I had to cut it off with scissors. Kelly Corrigan:Well you know, sometimes the trivial is tragic. But I asked the doctor what the right term for me might be, and he said Survivor-in-progress, which was super annoying. So, I think things happen when you leave the house. Read more on this here. Surely, my friend, my lost and lovely friend, called for new words. Today is the right day to Love, Believe, Do and mostly Live. What do you do when life doesnt fit into neat categories? So, Dont eat a hamster is our version of Dont jump to conclusions.. Kate Bowler:Oh friend. You are everywhere they are., Kelly Corrigan:I really believe that, even though Im skeptical, and Im mad at people who say, Her spirits still here, and stuff. Best, You might actually give somebody a chance to discover whats really bothering them, and in that discovery they might find their own solution, but the fact is that if you can bite your stupid tongue, and get over yourself, and just keep eliciting their whole story, then the next thing you know, their mood is changing, and theyre feeling more solution-oriented, and then they get the buzz of solving the problem. 295 Episodes Produced by Kelly Corrigan Website. I didnt engage with her. Kelly Corrigan:So, this was about all of these people calling me to say, I heard your friend died. Copyright 2023 Public Broadcasting Service (PBS), all rights reserved. You start with, Its like this.. 00:35:25 - Annie Jean Baptiste in the Head of Product Inclusion at Google where she spends her time thinking about the products we use very day and how who's a Is this how you would have cared for my son?, and you end up fixating on all of these tiny little things, and at the same time, so overwhelmed by not being sure if its trivial or tragic. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Our family motto: It isnt help unless someone asks for it. Both Kate and Kelly are remarkable women and in tandem they make for great listening. Kelly Corrigan Wonders on Apple Podcasts 296 episodes Welcome to Kelly Corrigan Wonders, a place for people who like to laugh while they think and find it useful to look closely at ourselves and our weird ways in the hopes that knowing more and feeling more will help us do more and be better. Kate Bowler:Well I think part of it, and this gets to another phrase that you write about which is I dont know, but you and I, it sounds like, have given up on certainties as a way to cope with that, both having been through cancer, and also I think both realizing that people really dont like it when you say, I dont know.. Kate Bowler:Yeah. Theres a whole world out there happening, and you can step into all kinds of things, and you dont need to know why youre leaving the house. Its not in my family. Kelly Corrigan:So, I used to go in there and write, and they have a meditation teacher twice a day at 10:00 AM and 3:00 PM, and at first I was sort of sheepish about availing myself of every single employee benefit, but sure enough, eventually I found myself sitting in there, and this guy was kind of amazing. Kelly Corrigan speaks with Maya Shankar about identity foreclosure, the trouble of cognitive forecasting, and new beginnings. Im Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. I heard your friend died, and I just couldnt bear to call them back. Gratefully, I was so mad that I shook the cage a bit, that hamster eating its sibling. -Kilpy Teri Rose wrote this loving remembrance of her son Ryland. You cant only experience deep gratitude at the toenails that you seriously wish someone else would have cut, because seriously, whos doing this around here? I love it that it gives up perfectionism, and it just says, Hey, whats possible today?. Its like this now seems like a helpful way to process changethanks for offering that up . Your email address will not be published. Ask the dancers, and the athletes, the painters, and musicians. We had several hamsters in one cage, and they can be cannibalistic, and one morning a hamster was missing, and another hamster had a suspiciously large tummy. Its these seemingly trivial moments. In this season of "Tell Me More," listen to one-on-one conversations with musical icons like Jewel and Lang Lang, community leaders like Del Seymour, entertainment heavyweights like Constance Wu and Michael Lewis, scientists like Maya Shankar, and more. To learn more about Everything Happens for a Reason (and Other Lies Ive Loved) by Kate Bowler, click here. Kelly Corrigan:Well, chop-chop kid. Kilpy Kelly Corrigan:Hearts dont idle. Kelly Corrigan:Thanks. We thought it was pretty great too . Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. Kelly Corrigan:Have you ever heard that potted plant theory? Kate Bowler:My life doesnt exactly fit into neat categories anymore. Neal Brennan and Kelly Corrigan have a conversation in NYC. He had things to do for days, and days, and days, and eulogies to write, and people to hug, and people to thank, and accounts to close, and cars to sell, and he had work to do, both emotional and just literally logistics. Kelly Corrigan:Thats not a headline anybody wants to read. I was wrong not to go visit her. I even use it at the end of lectures like, Hey, this is the end of the 19th century. Kelly Corrigan:So, I had to wait, and then finally we had a window, and I said, I was wrong. Download. Take Care Kate, And she said, Kelly, Im going to try to do the Uber to this wedding, and I was wondering if you can request a woman, and I said, No you cant, but you can trust it. Kate Bowler:You and I are super chatty people, but you make an amazing pitch for silence, and I am all for it, because everyone always had these go-to things to say with me like, You can do it, or Youre so brave, and all the things that made me feel like I was on the other side of plexiglass. Kate Bowler:You are someone who has gotten mixed up in all kinds of things, and I am so glad to know you. I think earn is such a good word, because youre talking about such a complicated math. Youre giving these beautiful phrases, and each of them feels like a kind of roadmap, and you start with one that really resonated deeply with me. Its probably cause of something youve been eating. Okay, but Im just telling you those kids are waking up every day without her, and theyre going to keep being without her forever. That sounds really right to me. I mean, that means shes with them. Constance Wu also thanks a past educator of hers, Mr. Frizzle. I was wondering if you could tell me about that. I think we should be talking about five percent of the time. Tell Me More - Kate Bowler Its all this cumulative effect of a thousand minuscule moments. Kelly Corrigan is a New York Times bestselling author whose first children's book, Hello World, is available now. Kelly Corrigan:They hate it. I think we should be talking about five percent of the time. Today, Im speaking with New York Times bestselling author, Kelly Corrigan. 5-Minute Listen. But first, we need you to sign in to PBS using one of the services below. Corrigan and her guests dig into such questions as "Is knowing more always . You dont have to bring it all. This episode was wonderful, wasnt it? No one understands what makes a character sing better than Michael Lewis. When I read that, I just kept thinking of how scared Ive been about what I call being a zombie. Theres a whole world out there happening, and you can step into all kinds of things, and you dont need to know why youre leaving the house. Onwards, but you use it so beautifully when youre talking about Lizs family and how they are now. Its the only way to keep the last bit of sanity. Kelly Corrigan:So, I had to wait, and then finally we had a window, and I said, I was wrong. So much of what you both say resonates for me. Touching on themes like self-belief, resilience, humility, and justice, this series normalizes the human condition and emphasizes our capacity to grow. Kelly Corrigan:So, I get it, but I spend a lot of time with them, and Im madly in love with them, really, really have this deep, incredible connection with them that I just value so much, and they are in her, and you know, theyre everything that was so important to her. So, I really appreciated the way that you framed the bigness and the smallness of it, because it has to be both. I was wrong not to try to know her, and I could just see it in his face that it was like, Okay, you understand. Im coming. Is this how you would have cared for my son?, and you end up fixating on all of these tiny little things, and at the same time, so overwhelmed by not being sure if its trivial or tragic. Its going to be great. And then right on the heels of that, I think, What would Liz do for this?. Yeah. 'Think Twice' podcast examines Michael Jackson's legacy : NPR The ambiguity is quite isolating. So Kelly, welcome. They reel and wander and fixate and roll back and reconsider, because its like this, having a mind. Its remarkable to hear a bit of your story and Im really grateful that youve shared it with us. Kelly Corrigan:Thanks. Thank you for helping me think more deeply about my words; not just the words I speak to others but the words I speak to myself. Kate Bowler:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kilpy Thanks for the rebellion and the reminder that we as women take up space, take risks, and even make mistakes! Kilpy Being a runner, this has always been meaningful for me. Kate, We look forward to having you join in on future conversations! I should not be mad about this. Over 50 & Flourishing with Dominique Sachse. Copyright 2023 Apple Inc. All rights reserved. Its a sin, its hell. She was really, really into manners, and as kind of an act of gratitude, not in an uptight, British way, but as a Look at us eating a meal together, like, Nobody should eat before the last person gets down.

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kelly corrigan podcast transcript